• Personal Development



    “You shouldn’t hold a grudge. Just let it go!”

    Forgiveness means you have another chance to start again. Often, that means evaluating the person who behaved hurtfully to determine whether the harm was intentional or accidental.

    Well-meaning people frequently admonish those who have been seriously hurt by another person to forgive the one who hurt them. If the person did not normally behave that way, it makes sense to forgive. Everyone has reactions they regret and bad judgment once in a while.

    But when the person possesses no empathy or compassion, when they not only refuse to take responsibility for their long-term pattern of damaging behavior, but they blame someone else (often the victim!) and play the victim themselves, victims of this kind of person find it hard to forgive. Because the perpetrator does not feel sorry or regretful, and often feel fully justified in their actions, the injured person cannot even begin to consider forgiveness.

    They blame you when they’re the perpetrator.

    So this situation will bind you to the hurtful person with the strongest of cords. You hold these cords in your hands yet you pull them taut every time you immerse yourself in the past. By holding onto your feelings of pain, anger, and betrayal, you give that person free access to your mind and your soul, your entire inward person. You give away your power to someone who wants to control you. As long as you go back into those memories, you live in the past and give up your sovereignty to someone who does not deserve it.

    Separate yourself …

    By seeking to forgive the person, you cut the cords that bind you. Acknowledge that the person who hurt you does not or will not understand how they have hurt you. You also acknowledge that they don’t care. You are not saying that it’s okay that they hurt you, or that it wasn’t that bad, or that it doesn’t matter.

    Quite the contrary.

    … and release.

    By forgiving them, you release their hold over you. By forgiving, you show that you do not intend to keep diving into the bad emotional experiences that you have had with them. You won’t think about them at all. For anything! You sever emotional ties and remove their hold on you. You will no longer accept their valuation of you, nor will negativity from them be tolerated by you any longer.

    Forgiveness in this sense means simply letting go: letting go of the pain, the memories, your history with this person, sometimes letting go of the person. It is not condoning, letting it slide, and saying it was okay to hurt you.

    You are not to blame.

    Forgive yourself for those times when you might have responded in a less-than-ideal way. Who wouldn’t have? You were not the problem; you never were the problem.

    Ultimately, forgiveness removes obstacles to perceiving your relationship with this person clearly. Once you remove the obstacles, you will be free – free to choose to walk away from the person and your relationship with them, and to have a new beginning (but not with them). Forgiveness gives you a chance to separate yourself from the painful situation, and from the person who caused it – and if it takes separation to bring you peace and wholeness, then do it.

  • Personal Development

    The Polarity of Butterfly Phoenix

    Polarity Butterfly Phoenix
    The Polarity of Butterfly Phoenix

    “There are two sides to every coin.”

    My parents used to tell me this, and being somewhat of a literal mind, I couldn’t see why they thought they needed to point out the polarity of coins. It was obvious!

    Now I see the deeper meaning behind the metaphor. Polarity characterizes many aspects of our reality. So when you understand how the polar nature of something works, you have deep insights into how you can make your own reality better.

    So …

    The Butterfly

    The Butterfly represents transformation of self. If you allow yourself to be changed by both the joys and vicissitudes of life, you evolve into a higher, purer individual more aligned with your gifts and purpose. The Butterfly represents Being.

    The Phoenix

    The Phoenix represents your path and purpose. Transformation isn’t an end in itself. Rather, it equips you to walk your path and fulfill your purpose. You have gifts that only you can share flowing from your unique talents and knowledge. The Phoenix represents Doing.

    The Polarity

    The polarity of butterfly phoenix represents both aspects: you must be before you can do, but you must do if you are to be. Moreover, you create your reality in this way, as well as meaning for your life. You are meant to be more than just a consumer of goods and information.

    Butterfly Phoenix Community

    If simple consumerism satisfied you, you wouldn’t be part of our community. You joined us here because you can see more; you know that life offers more, and you want to be part of a community that sees it too.

    We are glad you are here, and we hope to offer you encouragement, support, and balance on your journey. Many wishes for much growth and transformation in 2019 and beyond!

  • Goals and Action

    The Year of the Earth Pig

    Happy Year of the Pig!

    The Year of the Pig is an auspicious time for almost everyone. The Pig is associated with wealth in China, and the year of the Pig is said to bring prosperity, success, and wealth.

    This year of the Pig, 2019, is associated with the element of Earth, which brings stability, opportunity, and growth to the year of the Pig.

    This is a good year to start or expand a business, as the element of earth brings resources to the abundance from the Pig to encourage success.

    Relationships of all sorts benefit from its influence and strengthen during the year of the Earth Pig. The Earth element provides grounding (of course), and the abundance of the Pig provides security.

    This time of plenty can lead to excess, which can impact health. This is a good year to pay closer attention to health issues in order to maintain good health and to prevent future health problems.

    This year offers peace and contentment, making this a good time to work on emotional health, too. The security and stability proffered by the Earth Pig gives a solid base to work on emotional blocks and hurts that cause pain and thwart progress.

    Finally, while the Earth Pig symbolizes solidity, practicality, and material success and security, all these influences create the ideal environment to explore spirituality in a largely risk-free situation. From a solid space of stability, beliefs can be questioned and answers can be sought without the sense of having lost one’s foundation.

    Happy year of the Earth Pig, and many wishes for much success, joy, contentment, and abundance.

  • Everything Is Energy

    Attract the Energy You Want

    energy attract
    Be the change you want to see.

    “This is not philosophy; this is physics.” – A quote widely attributed to Albert Einstein, who may or may not have said it about attracting energy or any other topic. Regardless of who said it, the concept applies here.

    You attract the kind of energy you send out

    Whatever kind of energy you send out into the world tends to influence the kind of energy you attract back. Although good people experience bad things, and bad people experience good things, you receive what you emotionally believe to be true.

    Emotionally convinced: a charged phrase, to be sure. You must strongly persuade yourself of the truth of something, or at the least of its possibility, and you must be emotionally invested in it. Additionally, good people send out energies of fear, dread, anxiety, and the like as they fret about the future, and often they attract their worst fears. Worse yet, when they only get something bad instead of something awful, they often feel happy and relieved

    Expect the good

    But it doesn’t have to be this way. Good things can happen to good people, and those good things can happen all the time. It really comes down to expectation. Drop the chains of guilt and a sense of unworthiness. You deserve to be happy. Moreover, by sending out positive energy and uplifting thoughts, you raise the energies around you, which benefits other people as well as you. Then you will attract energies that serve you better.

    Finally, with the strength of your deepest being, learn to expect that good things come your way always and you deserve to have them. This isn’t greed; you do not take good things away from someone else to have them yourself. It’s not a zero sum game.

    Like attracts like

    Be the energy you want to attract. Like attracts like.

    This is not philosophy. This is physics.